Apparently, there is an epidemic of loneliness among men. According to Psychology Today, men report having fewer friends than women and 15 percent of them say they have no close friends at all.
In the West, masculinity is tied to a type of individualism that consciously or unconsciously tells men they can do everything themselves and that strong men do not express their emotions. Some men simply default to talking only about work, which dominates their world and is closely tied to self-worth. Some men feel unable to be their authentic selves and self-distance is a form of emotional protection that simply creates more isolation and loneliness.
Men have difficulty sharing and showing vulnerability to others, which leads to forming fewer bonds with both women and men. Some men continue to act in a misogynistic or patriarchal manner toward women, and fewer and fewer women are willing to accept these types of behaviors in men.
According to TikTok creator and Human Design Astrologer Kelsey Crookshanks, we can look to astrology to better understand how society has come to be this way.
The astrological reason why men feel so lonely right now
In a TikTok, Crookshanks explained that the planetary configurations of 2019 and Chiron, the asteroid known as the “wounded healer,” may play a part in the trend of loneliness among men.
Pointing to a chart from June 2019, Crookshanks described the positions of the planets at that time and their role in the male loneliness epidemic.
“The South Node…collectively represents release, letting go, emotional baggage, karmic ties and Saturn, the planet of karma,” she said, noting that at this time, all of these planets “were traveling together in the sign of Capricorn. Not only that, they were approaching Pluto, the sign of transformation, death and rebirth.”
She noted that these placements led to a lot of breakups, leaving men without their partners. In addition to this, she continued, “we also had Chiron enter Aries for a final time in February 2019, really bringing a wakeup call of healing to our sense of self,” which is significant because Aries rules the first house of the chart and is associated with individualism and the self. The ruler of Aries is Mars, the planet that represents men. Chiron in Aries has a healing energy, she said.
“Chiron spends longer in the sign of Aries than it does in any other sign,” Crookshanks explained. “This is a huge cycle and phase of learning how to step into our sovereignty and healing around our identities and sense of self and independence, removing ourselves from karmic relationships, dependent relationships, codependency — healing all of these patterns are a huge theme right now and have been since 2019.”
Chiron will remain in Aries until April 2027. As Chiron transits through a sign, we experience pain and vulnerability and ultimately the potential for healing and transformation. The situation is being amplified, according to Crookshanks, because the North Node in Aries is approaching it. The transiting North Node represents our collective path, spirituality and spiritual growth. The North Node moved into Aries on July 18th, 2023, and remains in each sign for 18 months.
The North and South Node travel together as opposites, so while the North Node is in Aries, the South Node is in Libra, which rules relationships. Libra’s ruler Venus has been retrograde this year, releasing a lot of relationships that are no longer working. Venus finally left its retrograde shadow period on October 6, 2023.
Another factor, she continued, is Uranus in Taurus.
“Taurus is ruled by Venus, so Uranus and Taurus is also creating a lot of sudden, unexpected chaotic changes to our relationships,” Crookshanks said. “All of this is happening to us to heal and create positive change and transformation with how we relate to other people and the types of other people we have in our lives.”
As these transits aim to make us more comfortable on our own and in healthy relationships, women are no longer settling for relationships that don’t serve them, forcing men to consciously do the self-work that makes them better partners in a way they’ve yet to be required to do. This, in addition to a lack of close friendships, leaves many men without a support system.
An astrological approach to feeling less lonely
In the natal chart, the moon shows us what makes us feel emotionally secure and Venus shows us where we find our pleasures in life. By focusing on the moon and Venus as well as the houses they occupy, men (and women) may be able to eliminate some of their loneliness by focusing on the signs and houses these planets occupy and take action accordingly.
For example, if a man has his moon in Cancer in the fourth house he would likely find emotional support among family members and women. He would be most comfortable at home, so inviting others over or entertaining may be a way not to feel so disconnected from others. He could join a cooking class or volunteer to work for Meals on Wheels in his spare time since Cancer is a sign also connected with food.
If a man has Venus in his ninth house he might connect with others through travel, education, philosophies and religion, all of which are ruled by the ninth house. He could plan a trip, take a class or join a church or spiritual group to feel less alone. Since the moon in a chart rules women and ultimately the wife in a man’s chart if he marries, and Venus rules love and women, an added bonus might be that he actually meets someone he could have a relationship with since he is doing what comes naturally and meeting likeminded individuals as opposed to isolating or feeling as though he is paddling upstream.
Leslie Hale is a professional astrologer offering personal astrology readings worldwide by phone, WhatsApp, and Zoom.